Princess Di was a real saint really.

WARNING, SOME OF YOU MAY BE SEVERELY DISPLEASED BY THIS PAGE!

1. Q) What does Diana stand for?
   A) Died In A Nasty Accident.
2. Q) What have Princess Diana and Pink Floyd got in common?
   A) They both had a hit with the wall.
3. Q) What is the difference between a Mercedes and A Skoda?
   A) Princess Di wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda.
4. Q) What is the difference between the London Ritz and the Paris Ritz?
   A) At the London Ritz you get after dinner mints, at the Paris Ritz you get minced after dinner.
5. Q) What was the last thing that Princess Diana had to drink?
   A) A Harvey Wallbanger with six chasers.
6. Did you hear that Dodi wanted to go night clubbing but Diana just wanted to crash?
7. Did you hear that the French Doctors could have saved Diana but they didn't have the parts for a 1961 Princess.
8. Did you hear that the paparazzi were in deep shit in Paris? Just before the ill-fated Mercedes left the Ritz on that fateful night, they were shouting "Di, Di, Di".
9. Have you heard that Princess Diana was on the radio? And the dashboard, and the windscreen, and.
10. Prince Charles was out early the other day walking the dog. When a passer-by said "Morning", Charles said, "No, just walking the dog."
11. Q) What's Di's fave ice cream?
    A) Walls
12. Headline describing the Royal Mails decision to not deliver letters on Saturday...DIANA CRASH HAS IMPACT ON POST
13. Q) What will Di get for Xmas?
    A) The Queen mother
14. Q) What Have Di & Ian Wright got in common?
    A) Both hit the post 4times at the weekend
15. Q) What's the similarity between Neighbours & Prince Charles?
    A) Neighbours have Mrs Mangle, Charles has mangled Mrs.
16. Q) What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?
    A) Zip-a-de Dodi, Zip-a-de Di
17. Q) What did Dodi say to his chauffeur?
    A) "Do you want to come to Paris with me and Di?"
18. Q) What's the difference between George Best and Dodi's chauffeur?
    A) George Best can still take corners when he's pissed.
19. Q) What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Lady Di?
    A) Tiger Woods has a good driver.
20. Q) What is Dodi's new pet name for Di?
    A) Squidgy
21. Apparently it wasn't the chauffer's fault, Di had also been drinking, reports show she had 2 pints of Carling in her.
22. Q) What does a bee have in common with a Mercedes?
    A) They both make Royal Jelly
23. Q) What's the difference between Swampy and Princess Di?
    A) They both go into tunnels, but only Swampy comes out of them
24. Q) How did the crash investigators know that Di had dandruff?
    A) They found her head and shoulders on the dashboard....
25. Q) What's the difference between Dodi and Di and Charles and Camilla?
    A) Dodi and Di are just a crush
26. That was final proof that a Mercedes Benz
27. Q) How d'ya paint a merc red?
    A) Di it.
28. Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Di
    Di who?
    See, easily forgotten.
29. Q) Do you know what was playing on the stereo when the car crashed?
    A) Going Underground
30. What did Di wear for her funeral?
    A dark blue bonnet.
31. Apparently Dodi asked Diana whether she wanted to crash at his place or hers.
32. Q) What sound did the ambulance make?
    A) Dodi dodi dodi dodi dodi dodi....
33. Q) What's the Queens favourite car?
    A) A smashed up Princess
34. Q) And on a happier note, What does the Queen Mother have in common with a Turkey?
    A) They'll both be dead by Christmas
35. It's just another example of Franco/German anti-British collaboration that has been going on since 1914.... Surely it's no coincidence that the world's best-loved Englishwoman was killed by a drunken Frenchman driving a German tank.
36. You know with all the media coverage of Princess Diana's death you'd think that OJ killed her.
37. Did you hear about the new fairy tale for kids that's replacing the Cinderella and carriage story? It's about Diana. At midnight, she turns into a pillar.
38. Dodi's Tomb was to be fitted with central heating until they realised that he already had a radiator on his chest.
39. Tonight we could all memorialise the sainted Mother Teresa and the beloved Princess Diana by eating curry and then sticking our fingers down our throats
40. Apparently the driver had tunnel vision.
41. Q) What is the similarity between Eurostar and Princess Diana?
    A) They both go screaming through tunnels and terminate in Paris.
42. Dodi Fayad was on the block having his post mortem done when one pathologist said to the other... if he is Asian, isn't he supposed to be black? His cohort exclaimed, "he is black". "Okay" said the first pathologist, "why is his penis white?" His cohort retorted "because he's been in Di!".
43. So anyway, the Queen mother is strolling through heaven when all of a sudden she sees Princess Diana; seeing she has a halo above her head, she goes over to her and asks; "Could you tell me where I could get a halo?" to which Princess Diana replies, "It's not a bloody halo! It's a sodding stearing wheel!"
44. What is Diana's favourite ice cream?
    a) Carte d'or
45. How did they find out Diana had dandruff?
    a) They found head and shoulders in the front seat.
46. Whats Dianas favourite magazine?
    a) Smash Hits